A healthy relation should be built upon trust and respect.
A healthy relation is to listen, not to argue and go into defence mode and attack.
A relation is not a battlefield.
When it comes to sex I believe many men think a good relation is one built upon sex.
If the sex is not working the relation doesn´t work and they blame the woman for not having lust and desire.
This has been the case for a very long time in history but the opposite of how we woman work. For us we need to have a good relation for the lust to come and the sex to work.
For women we need to feel loved, secure, seen and respected for the sex to work.
Women need to be seen an appreciated for their inner beauty, not the outer appearence.
For us sex is sacred.
For men a need to let go of pressure and to not needing to deal with their emotions.
But beacuse of our wrong idéa of how a relation should be and work based upon the male principles, this has caused us to feel guilty and ashamed not being able to live up to the expectations of us being there to fulfill mens needs, desires and lusts.
This has been the case of how the whole world is functioning and have done for ages so we have been programmed to believe something is wrong with us not living up to the ideal men created us to be. As objects. As bodies to invade.
So when we not are being "turned on" in our realtions we accuse ourselves of being the ones who are something wrong with, when it´s actually the opposite.
We start to see sex as an obligation and something we need to give men so they will be satisfied and quiet for a while. We use it as a way to avoid conflict.
In this case we give away our sacred bodies and each time we do so we commit an abuse and a wound we will carry around within us. Each time we do this we are letting ourselves down and come further and further away from trusting men and this in turn creates a bigger and bigger distance between us.
We also begin to be afraid of our own sexuality and block our lust. When sex comes into being something that concerns the outer and how we look, we start to think instead of feeling. Pleasure doesn´t come from the head. We think more about how we look and appear and this creates fear.
We begin to feel fear for not having the reaction expected from us.
We need to help men to understand that nothing turns us more off than giving us blame for not be willing and available as objects. We need to help men understand that it´s not our fault when we don´t feel what he do as pleasurable.
They must realize they have to change their approach and that it´s not only about technique. There must be sincerity behind it.
We need to realize that there is nothing wrong with us not being able to live up to mens expectations of us. We need to forgive ourselves for having done so.
We need to say no to these kind of sexual needs without feeling ashamed and guilty about it. We need to do so not only for ourselves but also in helping men realize that this way doesn´t work for us. Otherwise they will continue to belive they are sex Gods and not needing to reflect over their own behaviors, patterns and false illusions of how women work.
We need to help men find their own feminine side not continue helping them feeding their masculine and in that way neglecting our own feminine side.
We need to come into balance so we can meet each other as equals and in love and unity instead of this power and control game. This will help men to see women in another way taking sex into other dimensions and ecstacy they never experienced before.
So honor your bodies as sacred women! Make a vow not ever again give your bodies away to being used for mens desires if you not having any pleasure out of it yourself.
Make a promise to yourself to see you body as sacred not letting anything enter into it without feeling loved and respected.
Forgive yourself for the times you didn´t do so. Know that you are worthy this.
Honor yourself as a women.
Know that you are beautiful and sacred no matter what others have told you and are saying.